“The second the orgasm came, I was terrified I had done something really wrong and my parents would know.”
People of all ages, genders, and sexualities came through with their bumbling, awkward, and hilarious first times. Here are just some of their responses:
This divine intervention:
I was a young and eager learner. I had a major back surgery when I was 12 that left me bedridden for almost a month, so I was staying with my grandmother who was very much a part of the local church. Her bible study felt bad for me having to be stuck in bed, so they all chipped in and bought me a mini laptop. Long story short, within a day I was feeling myself to porn I had found. I discovered the clitoris and never looked back. Thanks church ladies!
NBC / Via giphy.com
My first? I was like 12, it was late. I scratched my balls, worked my way up, and supercalifragilisticexpialidocious! I was a man.
The curious explosion:
I was having some relatively steamy thoughts as a late tween laying in bed and I thought, “It feels weird down there. I wonder what would happen if I touched it." So I did, and I exploded immediately. I honestly had no idea what happened the first time — it actually kind of freaked me out. After I familiarized myself with my body and my orgasms however, it was heaven from then on.
NBC / Via giphy.com
My first orgasm was actually during a basketball practice four years ago. At the beginning of the practice we had to run around the court for about fifteen minutes. I started to feel a hot, tingly sensation between my legs, so I started to run faster because it felt so good and I didn't want it to stop. I kept running until it "exploded." I really wanted to moan, but of course I had to be quiet so that my team mates wouldn't realize what had happened. Ever since then I have orgasms while doing exercise, but I have to say those are less intense than the ones I have from intercourse.
This unexpected detour:
I was probably about 10 years old and was laying down napping in the back of an RV. The vibration of my thighs from the movement of the vehicle started to feel really nice and I remember moving my body along with it until suddenly I orgasmed. Of course, I had no idea what had happened, but let's just say I was a fan of car-ride napping from then on.
FOX / Via giphy.com
I was 7 and I was climbing up a really tall pole and it was rubbing against my clitoris, so when I was getting to the top I had a clitoral orgasm. I was shaking so hard and I almost peed myself. I've never had one like that. RIP.
The home alone discovery:
I think I was about 11 or 12, and I had just discovered porn when no one was at home. I had no idea what I was doing, but I sat in front of the TV and rubbed one out. The second the orgasm came, I was terrified something wrong happened and immediately stopped. I thought I had done something really wrong and my parents would know. I still masturbated after that though.
NBC / Via millsbizz.tumblr.com
Wrestling with a friend and well... There was inadvertent rubbing that ended in a surprise. Had no idea what cum was until then. I was losing, too. Guess I've always been quite a sub.
This friendly dare:
When I was a kid, I had a lot of friends who were very sexual to say the least. One day, one of my friends dared me to hump one of my big stuffed animals. I didn't do it, but when she left I got curious. I took off my pants and underwear and started humping my biggest stuffed animals. I kept doing it until I felt this weird, but amazing sensation. Right after, I got this sense that I was doing something wrong. But it felt so right.
Alex Blăjan / Unsplash / Via unsplash.com
I was reading sexy fanfiction as a young teenager and liked the feeling it gave me. Eventually, after some research, I began to touch myself while reading a favorite piece. The romance/sexiness of the situation in the story really did it for me. Super embarrassing to think about now.
This handy washcloth hack:
I would always put a little washcloth between my legs kind of balled up, then I would cross my left leg over my right leg, and the pressure from that on my clit gave me an orgasm. I liked the sensation, but I was pretty young so I didn't know what I was experiencing. I just knew I liked it and I would do it when my parents weren’t home.
Leisuretime70 / Getty Images / Via thinkstockphotos.com
I was 14 years old and I had read so much on Cosmo about masturbation, and I knew I just had to try it. I tried with just fingers, but I wasn't quite doing it in the right place so I decided to try the shower head method. When no one was home, I got into the shower and turned on the removable shower head. I put one foot up on the ledge and turned the stream to the highest and most direct setting. I just sort of pointed it down there and moved it around until it felt good. It tickled and I kept holding it there until I felt a super euphoric and relieving feeling. I was so astonished. I felt bad about it for the rest of the day but started doing it regularly (and now can finally do it with fingers) because honestly, what's so bad about it?!
This groundbreaking discovery:
Jacking off in the shower. Didn't know what I was doing at the time. Freaked out when I finally came. Thought I'd discovered something previously unknown about the human body until a google search basically had the sex talk with me my parents had been neglecting.
Late one night at 14, I had been reading a lot of feminist literature about masturbating, and decided to finally give it a try as I was half asleep. Through my thick, fleece pajama pants and underwear, I rubbed myself until I O'd, and it felt so intense I couldn't wait to do it again. I still felt gross and nervous about actually touching myself without underwear, so I got off that way for forever, and now that's the way I still orgasm, although I love touching myself totally naked.
—18/Woman/Possibly bi and most likely not straight
This toothy revenge:
When I was 12 I stole my brother's electric toothbrush as a revenge for being mean to me and I really wanted to make him mad so I put it in my pants and turned it on. Let me tell you, I didn't know at the time what I was feeling, but it definitely was memorable. I was addicted after that and he never found his toothbrush again.
Cylonphoto / Getty Images
I first orgasmed on my own with a vibrator when I was 20. I hadn't known women were even capable of orgasm until I got to college and no one I'd encountered in my limited dating experience had ever given a thought to my own pleasure, so I had just assumed women weren't really supposed to get anything out of sexual encounters pleasure-wise. My college roommate helped me pick out my first vibrator and gave me a brief rundown on what to do.
This steamy chat:
I was 13 and home alone. I had spent the whole day on an online chatroom secretly, until some girl started messaging me how she wanted to devour me. I didn't really know what exactly masturbation was, but somehow my hand ended up in my pants and I was just rubbing my entire hand all over the place. Eventually I came and I shit you not — my entire body bounced up and down and shook for half an hour after. I masturbated every single afternoon for the next month.
Cartoon Network / Via reddit.com
Honestly, I had to learn about my clit (and, by extension, how to orgasm) from porn. I was hiding out in my room after school watching (would you believe) some shitty VHS tape with bad acting and worse hair, and I could not for the LIFE of me figure out why this chick was rubbing the other chick that way. Still, they both seemed to know something that I didn't, so I gave it a shot. Suddenly, I was seeing stars. It was such a fantastic discovery that I wound up masturbating my way through the next four years.
—25/AFAB enby femme/Queer