“I was hooking up with a guy and he accidentally sharted in my mouth.”

"This guy and I were friends with benefits, and one day we were getting a little freaky. We decided to try anal, and I got poop on his dick. That's not even the worst part. For months, he had an infection in his penis because of it. I still feel awful, and it's been years."

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Showtime / Apatow Productions

"I was going down on my boyfriend in my dorm room. His muscles were all tense, and he was breathing really hard. He said he wasn't going to finish because he had too much to drink, so we both got dressed. I noticed these weird brown streaks on my sheets. He pretended to be confused and left immediately. That's when I realized why he was acting so weird, because he was trying to hold in his shit while I had his dick in my mouth. The next day, he had the nerve to lie and say he had some chocolate in his back pocket and it must have melted on my bed."

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